Hailey’s Toolbox: Coping 101

There is no one correct way to cope. As I mentioned in Digesting the Diagnosis, I don’t believe there are right and wrong ways of coping. I think there are destructive and healthy ways of coping. I’ve been able to find comfort in many different things throughout this and wanted to share what’s in my toolbox ☺

I listen to and nurture my body

This is a skill, believe it or not. I’ve learned to be okay with listening to what my body needs. Sometimes this means canceling plans if my anxiety and/or fatigue are taking over, even if I was looking forward to those plans. Sometimes it means deep breathing exercises, allowing myself to have a lazy day, or doing my workouts to strengthen my lower back. Instead of trying to fight against what my body truly needs or ignoring it entirely, I’ve learned the different signs and signals from my mind and body to know what is truly best for me in the moment.

I sleep when I need to sleep, eat when I need to eat, drink a lot of water, take medicine when needed, etc. Giving my body what I know it needs has previously not been a strong suit of mine. It’s something I’ll continue working on for quite some time until it becomes second nature.

I challenge myself

While I do listen to my body, I also have learned when it’s healthy to push myself. If I recognize that I’ve been avoiding a task or a project, I push myself to just complete it. The sense of accomplishment you feel after completing tasks you’ve been putting off is pretty great. Often times I’ll dedicate a full day to just working on those things that I’ve been avoiding and knock them all out in one day. Those days leave me feeling incredible.

If the reason I want to stay home is because I’m genuinely tired or not feeling well, then I listen to my body. If I realize that I feel fine and just want to stay home just because I’m comfortable, that’s when I typically push myself to go out. Knowing when to listen vs when to push yourself is also a learned skill.

I found new hobbies

Back in the spring I realized that I really liked how macrame art looks and was looking into buying some decor for my house. I decided it might make more sense to just learn how to do it myself, so I started learning the different types of knots and what supplies are needed. I ordered supplies and started practicing the knots. Finally, I picked a beginner piece to try and it turned out really great! It was easy enough to follow the instructional video and I realized how I could put my own spin on things as well. Before I knew it, I was working on bigger pieces like dream catchers. I’ve enjoyed this so much that I have opened an Etsy shop called KissMyAstrocytoma and am working on a bunch of macrame projects to get ready to sell. I already have a couple of items listed that can currently be made to order. Just know there is lots more coming!

Writing and creating my own website has been another important outlet for me. It’s been a large task to learn about building a website, a logo, copyrighting, etc. I’ve had a lot of fun doing it; I’m actually motivated to work on it and dedicate a ton of time to it.

I exercise

I’m not a huge fan of working out unfortunately. This is one of those things that I challenge myself on though considering how important it is, especially with any sort of health condition. I keep relatively small goals in terms of exercise since my back and feet pain often gets in the way of anything too intense. Some days, simply doing my back exercises, doing yoga or going on a walk is sufficient. I’m kind to myself and allow myself to have those smaller more achievable goals. Other days, I do HIIT workouts or dance workouts. As long as I’m doing some sort of regular exercise, I celebrate that.

My favorite dance workouts are by and8 Fitness. It’s a really fun way to get a great workout in and really push yourself, all while having a blast.

I cook

Cooking is a great way to make sure I’m saving money and eating better, but I’m terrible at actually getting myself to do it sometimes. I love to cook for others but I’ve realized that living alone, I don’t enjoy cooking for just myself as much as I do when other people are around. Considering I hate grocery shopping and am bad at getting myself to cook when it’s just me, I recognized I needed an extra push.

I decided to subscribe to a meal service. Getting food delivered right to my house takes away all of the parts I don’t like – getting the groceries, deciding what ingredients I need and how much, etc. I like the cooking part and I like trying new recipes. Personally I recommend Hungry Root – you can input any dietary preferences/restrictions, tell them the types of foods you like and how many meals and portions you want per week. It’s very flexible as well. You can skip any week you want to and you can also view upcoming orders and make any changes you want. I’m a snacker so I also have them send me some snacks each week. I also find it to be pretty affordable compared to what I spend at the grocery store anyways, just to waste a ton of the food.

I enjoy my space

On a regular basis I make sure to do some of my favorite things. Before all of this happened, I didn’t make sure to enjoy my living space on a regular basis if it was just me here. I’d save the candles and the cute lights for when I had company over, because why go out of my way to impress nobody? Now, I make sure to enjoy my space every day. The candles, lights, music, blankets, and all the other comfort items are for me – not just my company. Every night I light up some candles, turn on my wax warmers and favorite shows, and get cozy. I don’t “save” the cute & coziness just for guests anymore.

I spend time with family & friends

This is a big one for me – I spend so much time with friends & family. I go to my parent’s house for dinner every Tuesday & Thursday. I hang out with my cousin Megan most Wednesdays. Mondays are technically open to be able to relax, clean, and work on stuff, but honestly I usually end up doing something Mondays too. And then there are the weekends – I couldn’t tell you the last time I had a weekend where I wasn’t out and about doing something with my favorite people.

I do make sure to protect my time and energy by making time for myself to relax as well, but I never have time to get too lonely. I’m blessed to have such a big support system and I try to really soak that up!

I stay off the internet

A huge thing for me is avoiding doing internet research on my health. Although it’s gotten better (strangely), I do have health anxiety. The internet can obviously be a great resource, when it comes to health concerns it’s never a good idea to seek the internet for answers. The main reason for this is that almost any symptom could result from something simple like a virus, or something serious like cancer. You may research a symptom and see some scary medical conditions pop up, when in reality it’s nothing.

Obviously in my case the symptoms did turn out to be the scary result, but I’m a rare case. The internet will only scare you and raise more question and concerns for you. While it’s great to make sure you are informed so you can advocate for yourself, you don’t necessarily need the internet to know when to advocate for yourself. You know your body. Listen to your gut. Almost all of my symptoms could have been something lesser than cancer, but I knew in my gut that something deeper was going on so I kept pushing for answers. Your own intuition is your best search engine.

While this isn’t a comprehensive list of the things I do to cope. These are just some of the biggest ones for me. I hope that hearing about my coping strategies can be helpful in some way, shape or form☺

Did you know

You can easily navigate to past blog posts at the bottom of the page.

I’ve added a gallery of some of my initial macrame pieces on my Macrame page. I’ll continue adding images as I make more pieces.

Coming up on Kiss My Astrocytoma

A Day in the Life

A Letter to my Pops

A Letter to my Mom

I’m in the works of creating an Etsy shop and stocking up some macrame pieces to get ready to sell. I’ll have the link for my Etsy shop both on the Macrame and Contact Information & Links pages of the website once I’m ready! ☺

♡ Hailey

Questions? Comments? Suggestions?