A cancer diagnosis not only hits the patient pretty hard, but their loved ones as well. It can be hard to know the best ways to offer encouragement and show your support. There isn’t one right way to show your love and support. I want to share some of the many ways I’ve received support.
Consider what you have to offer
You might first consider what you personally have to offer. Are you in a line of work that could benefit your loved one with cancer? Do you have a unique skill that could benefit your loved one? I’ve had many people come forward to offer their services or skills in a way that is helpful to me.
My aunt owns a professional cleaning company. She offered to come out to my house free of charge to do a thorough cleaning as well as a make over. She sends an employee out every 3 weeks to clean my house, also free of charge. The weight this lifts off my shoulders is amazing! I still keep up on basic chores and maintenance, but I have the comfort of knowing that every 3 weeks someone will come out to do the more thorough cleaning (e.g. cleaning my shower).
I have a cousin that has done all things beauty throughout her whole career and runs a chain of beauty schools. She is the only person I trust to do my hair and she has been doing my hair for years. She has offered me endless support as I’ve gone through hair thinning and hair loss. I’ve had the peace of mind knowing that no matter how much hair I lose, she has all the tricks up her sleeve to make sure I continue feeling beautiful no matter what.
One of my mom’s coworkers is very crafty and creative. She often creates different types of art pieces for her coworkers. She offered to design a t-shirt for me and set it up as a fundraiser. The design turned out incredible and the fundraiser has been a huge success. The time and energy she put into this t-shirt design was so touching to me.
Another one of my aunts has sent me weekly cards and gift cards for things such as gas, groceries, eateries, etc. She also sent me some things that I can use as Christmas gifts knowing that due to medical bills, gift giving may be harder this season. I’ve found this to be so creative since these are all things that alleviate stress for me and I will truly use them.
Non-monetary ways to show support
There are many meaningful, non-monetary ways to show your love and support. I’ve had people offer to go pick up my online grocery order for me, offer to bring me cooked meals, and offer to come do house work. While I was out of work on my medical leave I received cards daily (sometimes multiple a day) from various different people at my work offering words of encouragement. It meant so much to me to be reminded every day of how many people are behind me and how much I was missed at work!
I’ve had people offer me transportation if I needed it and people who have simply lent a listening ear to me. My parents created a slide show for me to show my journey over this past year, both the good and the scary times. They also arranged a celebration dinner for me after I completed radiation, and for me to just see who all showed up for me was so moving.
My mom has sat down with me on multiple occasion to help me organize my bills and plan my finances. This was such a relief considering the bills can be overwhelming – not just the debt but the sheer amount of bills coming in from every which way from many different places. It gets hard trying to keep it straight! Helping to keep me organized is a huge way my parents have shown me support.
Honestly just showing up for people is most meaningful. Offering to spend the day with them, take them somewhere fun, or even just to come have a movie night with popcorn and cozy blankets means a lot to someone who is going through a tough time. Send your loved one cards/messages with words of encouragement, text them a meme or quote that makes you think of them, remind them of your favorite things about them or favorite memories. Sending them your favorite pictures or videos with them is a sure way to warm the heart.
CancerCare.Org offers more great suggestions on supporting a loved one with a cancer diagnosis for anyone who is interested. If you have any other questions about supporting loved ones with cancer, I’d say that my parents are the experts at this. You’d think they went through this before with how invested and supportive they have been. They’ve helped me in all the ways I needed and are my 2 biggest cheerleaders for sure.
To everyone who has supported me in any way – sending me cards, text messages, spending time with me, etc. – thank you from the bottom of my heart. I truly have the best support system possible.
♡ Hailey
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Questions? Comments? Suggestions?
